Yesterday I went to church on Easter Sunday. I’m an atheist. So going to church is pretty rare for me. Normally its just for weddings and funerals. I went, as I wanted something from the church. What I wanted doesn’t matter, that’s for another post. I got what I wanted though.
I was educated in a nondenominational Christian school. We had chapel, once a week. However our religious education was a broad study of all major world faiths. This helped me in my decision to be an atheist. Both my parents are, as was my paternal grandfather.I arrived late. I had woken up very early, like 4 am or so. A raging hang over, dehydrated and limp. But excited. My crush was supposed to be coming over to hang later on.
I am 33 years old. Being limp in the morning is not normal. I drink too much. While drunken sex is unbelievable fun, having whiskey dick is not.
So the service was a new one for me. The church was an Anglican one. High Church Anglican. The grand old stone church was full of smoke. The service was much like a catholic service. I sat in a pew at the back that was free and joined in. I am a polite person. I sang the hymns and recited the passages in the order of service. The reverend was around 60. He was a big bearded English man. He spoke with a booming voice. Being Easter Sunday, the service was about the resurrection.It is just by chance that I am going in to rehab at this time of the year. I have wanted something from the church for a while. The story of the resurrection is similar to what I am about to do to my life. Alcohol is my last vice.
I have spent over half my life with addiction problems. I have beaten my major one, but have always consumed too much alcohol. Alcohol is the only one that has given me physical issues such as weight gain or tremors in my hands so bad that I find it hard to SMS or erectile dysfunction. I have mostly beaten the weight. I exercise every day. When I am dry, the last bit will fall off. I am fucking excited.
After the service there was a small function in the hall. You know those little sandwich’s your grand mother made? Crusts cut off, salmon, cucumber and cream cheese. Curried egg with lettuce and chicken with mayo and cucumber.
I saw a lady from the dog park. She loves my dog. Everybody loves my dog. She asked why I was here and I burst into tears. She held me, in her arms. I pulled away. She pulled me back in. I told her my story and she told me hers. She told me Jesus Christ died and was reborn at 33. I don’t believe the re-born thing. However I do believe that I am going to totally reinvent the way I live my life.
Later I read that James Iha played with the Smashing Pumpkins for the first time in 16 years. My favourite track, by them was always 33. 33 by the smashing pumpkins
Oh and my crush never came over.